A Brief Conversation About True Colors
In April we considered the “interpersonal gap” and how to look through a True Colors lens for better understanding. One of the eight strategies proposed was “appreciating positive intention”. We know the saying about the road to hell, but I think it leaves off saying that that road is paved with those good intentions that haven’t been honestly or effectively examined. This True Colors column is devoted to the concept of appreciating positive intentions behind the behavior of others and how it can help us have more productive dialogue and reach better understanding.
Lesley Cordero wrote an article about dealing with teenagers, in which she gives us some great ideas for working more effectively with our students. She starts with the premise that behavior derives from positive intention, and described these steps in the process of understanding and responding to that intention:
1. Setting yourself up as an ally ...
You want to find out what your [student’s] positive intention is... You don't want to be perceived as the enemy. Instead you are an ally and they need to believe that you think they are a good person; they are separate from their behavior and you are here to work with them.
2. Finding the positive intention ...
In order to find their often-unconscious positive intention, you can put yourself in their shoes or talk to them in order to get an answer to the following question:
• What does this behavior do for me?
• How does this behavior benefit me?
• What do I want to happen when I do this behavior?
3. Checking it out ...
Once you think that you know what the purpose behind their behavior might be, check it out with them by asking, "So, what you were really wanting by (behavior) was (positive intention)?"
4. Now that you know ...
support the positive intention
Appreciate the fact that they were trying to do something positive and offer to help in any way that you can. Work with them to come up with a new behavior that is consistent with the kind of person they are and which will satisfy their positive intention. (Leslie Cordero)
With knowledge of True Colors, we understand that the needs, values and joys of dominant color perspective are often critically involved in shaping our positive intentions. That knowledge in turn can help us see those intentions more clearly and respond to them more appropriately.
NEEDS |
|||
GOLD |
BLUE |
ORANGE |
GREEN |
stability |
understanding |
freedom/challenge |
autonomy;data,info |
consistency |
harmony/people |
expression |
to be understood |
orderly environment |
hugs/love/touch |
flexible |
to be appreciated for their knowledge |
VALUES |
|||
GOLD |
BLUE |
ORANGE |
GREEN |
time with family |
romance |
fun/excitement |
high achievement |
job satisfaction |
hugs/groups |
performing |
recognition of our ideas |
order/organization |
acceptance |
people |
meeting challenge |
hard work |
affection/friendship |
adventure |
solving a problem |
JOYS |
|||
GOLD |
BLUE |
ORANGE |
GREEN |
time with family |
romance |
fun/excitement |
high achievement |
job satisfaction |
hugs/groups |
performing |
recognition of our ideas |
order/organization |
acceptance |
people |
meeting challenge |
hard work |
affection/friendship |
adventure |
solving a problem |
Mary Miscisin is the author of SHOWING OUR TRUE COLORS, A Fun, Easy Guide for Understanding and Appreciating Yourself and Others.
(c) 2005 Mary Miscisin, All Rights Reserved www.PositivelyMary.com
Permission to duplicate this article is granted ONLY with the copyright and contact information intact.
True Colors Upcoming Training --
True Colors Training Schedule for STAFF (SD 410) ---- FALL 2012
Training Schedule for Fall 2012 ----- see attached schedule
True Colors Training Schedule for Student Affairs STUDENT employees (SD 417) -- FALL 2012
Training Schedule for Fall 2012 ----- see attached schedule
Any comments? Please send to VPSA@utsa.edu
Training Schedule for Fall 2012------see attached schedule
VPSA@utsa.edu